It’s hard not to use the Enneagram as a fun party
trick. I’ve done it. I may, at times, continue to do it. It can hold the same power as really good
gossip. Being a one-to-one Four, I don’t
always thrive in holding court in larger social groups. I feel much more comfortable getting down to
the nitty-gritty with just one person.
And so, as a default, I seek to bring a unifying piece of information to
bring together the disparate social crowd.
Afraid that I may miss out of some conversation that is going on
elsewhere, or fearful that I may be left out, I often take my place regaling
everyone with some entertaining story, trying my best to hold everybody’s
undivided attention. Add to that my
newfound love of the Enneagram, and you can see how it can get dicey.
I love the Enneagram.
I think it is endlessly fascinating.
There is still so much for me to learn about it, and I still have
trouble explaining the complex system to people who have never heard about
it. I am aware that it can sound like
some New Age-y, hokey, Self-Help juju.
So, I try to make it accessible, I try to hook people onto it. Because, frankly, I believe in this system
wholeheartedly, it resonates to my very core.
And when you’re passionate about something, you, of course, want to shout
it from the mountaintops. (In the same
regard, I have tried to convince people of the merits of Ben Harper’s music, or
the magical performances by Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix in Walk the Line. Full disclosure, in those last two instances,
I almost got in knockdown drag out fights defending the honors of Ben, Reese
and Joaquin.)
My therapist said to me yesterday, “Never explain, because
your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.” I have always been one to overexplain, especially when I am passionate about said subject. However, in this case, I am keenly aware that
my job with the Enneagram is to do just the opposite. I have to allow people to come to the Enneagram
in their own time, in their own way. And
the most important thing for me is to practice what I preach, not to cheapen
the power of the Enneagram by making it a parlor game.
The Enneagram is more than just a cool identification of
different personality types. It truly
can be used towards spiritual growth and self-development. It is useful in letting go of old patterns to
which we’ve long been slaves. I suppose
all we can do when we are enlivened by something is to lead by example, let our
actions speak louder than our words.
